IVF with Donor Egg has only been in existence in the US since 1987. But the estimates are that at least 80,000 children have been born through this process in this country alone. The procedure involves surgically extracting eggs from a donor—usually a woman between the ages of 20 and 31 years old— and fertilizing those eggs with the man’s sperm in the lab, and transferring the resulting embryo(s) to the woman’s uterus in the hopes that the embryo will attach and result in a viable pregnancy. Success rates have improved dramatically in recent years making it possible for women with compromised egg quality (due to age or pre-mature ovarian failure) to now have children. The vast majority of Donor Egg procedures have been done (and are continuing to be done) anonymously.

However, the resulting child (or children) are not genetically related to their mothers and the question about whether these children should be told about their unique origins has been debated in the field for many years. The current thinking is that children have a right to know about their genetic origins and (with genetic testing being widespread in our culture) it would be much more damaging to a child to find out on their own, rather than being told. And some young adults conceived through the use of Donor Egg are doing internet searches for their Donors or other donor offspring who are their half genetic siblings.

Couples (or single mothers) considering IVF with Donor Egg need to carefully consider the long term consequences for themselves, their families and their children—both in terms of a strictly anonymous donor, and in terms of their own emotional readiness to proceed.

And once a family is created through the use of Donor Egg, parents sometimes have questions about how to talk to their children about this issue in an age appropriate manner; how to talk to family and friends about it; and how to handle children’s request to do a search for their donors.
I offer both short and longer term counseling or consultations to deal with any of these issues.