Donor Insemination involves the use of Donor Sperm combined with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), a medical procedure in which the sperm is injected into the woman’s uterus at the time of ovulation in the hopes that one of the eggs released by her ovaries will become fertilized by that sperm and result in a viable pregnancy.

This procedure has been in existence for hundreds of years (with fresh sperm specimens) but when it became possible to freeze sperm samples, a number of large sperm banks were established in the US in the 1970’s allowing hetereosexual couples with male factor infertility, lesbian couples, and single mothers to have children. It is estimated that since 1977, over 700,000 children have been born in the US through the use of this method.

Although Donor Insemination has traditionally been anonymous, in recent years some the sperm banks have been offering Identity Release Sperm Donors—which means that once the child is 18 years old, he or she has the option to receive identifying information about their donors and may attempt to contact and/or meet those donors or their half-siblings. And some of these donor-conceived offspring have been curious enough about their donors to begin searches for them.

Both lesbian couples and single mothers do not have a choice about talking to their children about their genetic origins at an early age. But more and more heterosexual couples are also talking to their children.

Couples (or single mothers) considering Donor Insemination need to carefully consider the long term consequences for themselves, their families and their children—both in terms of a strictly anonymous donor, and in terms of their own emotional readiness to proceed.

And once a family is created through the use of Donor Insemination, parents sometimes have questions about how to talk to their children about this issue in an age appropriate manner; how to talk to family and friends about it; and how to handle children’s request to do a search for their donors.

I offer both short and longer term counseling or consultations to deal with any of these issues.