The recently released movie”The Kids are All Right”, the new documentary “Donor Unknown” and numerous articles in The New York Times, Time Magazine and other mainstream media, have raised awareness about the natural curiosity children conceived through donor sperm or donor egg have about their donors, especially once they reach their teenage years.
The problem is that the vast majority of the parents of these kids and young adults  used anonymous donors and most sperm banks and fertility clinics will not release any identifying information about donors. However, more and more donor conceived children and families are trying to locate their donors themselves or through the use of websites like The Donor Sibling Registry, which allows donors and recipient families to post information about when and where their donations took place so that matches can be made. There are currently more than 30,000 people registered on this site and over 8,000 matches have made been between donors and offspring and between half siblings (offspring who share the same donor).

In recent years, both Great Britain and Australia have banned anonymous sperm or egg donation and Canada is now following suit. In the US, sperm banks are offering more “Identity Release” donors–i.e. donors who are willing to have their identifying information released when the children are 18 years old. Fertility clinics, however, are not yet offering this option but there is a great deal of discussion about a national donor registry.

In my opinion, donor conceived people have a right to know they were conceived with the help of a donor. But do they have a right to know who that donor is, even if their parents do not? Or their donor was promised anonymity?  What if there is a compelling medical reason to contact an anonymous donor for information? These are the questions that are becoming increasingly important for the nearly 100,000 donor-conceived people in the US.

(http://www NULL.amazon NULL.com/Unspeakable-Losses-Miscarriage-Abortion-Pregnancy/dp/068817390X%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJYUTJSSSOP7THKIA%26tag%3Delcadia01-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D068817390X)

Unspeakable Losses: Healing From Miscarriage, Abortion, And Other Pregnancy Loss (http://www NULL.amazon NULL.com/Unspeakable-Losses-Miscarriage-Abortion-Pregnancy/dp/068817390X%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJYUTJSSSOP7THKIA%26tag%3Delcadia01-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3D068817390X)
by: Kim Kluger-Bell
publisher: Harper Paperbacks, published: 2000-04-26
ASIN: 068817390X
EAN: 9780688173906
sales rank: 68389

This comforting and healing book is a must–not only for women who have at one time experienced pregnancy loss but also for their parents, sisters, daughters, brothers, and friends. Kim Kluger-Bell’s extensive fieldwork as a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of reproductive crises strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding pregnancy losses and abortions, giving new voice to these “unspeakable losses.”

Filled with in-depth stories of those who have experienced losses and solid, practical advice with mourning rituals and services, Unspeakable Losses is a necessary companion to all those who have experienced pregnancy loss and those who care about them.

This soothing book is a must–not simply for women who have experienced pregnancy loss, but also for their partners and those who care about them. Kim Kluger-Bell, a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of losing a child before birth–whether to abortion, miscarriage, or other loss–strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding this unique pain. She gives new voice to these “unspeakable losses,” in a culture that has rendered its discussion taboo.Combining in-depth stories with solid, practical advice, Unspeakable Losses articulates the myriad emotional stages that arise from pregnancy loss and validates what can otherwise be a terribly lonely experience. This book is a vital companion for women and men in comprehending–and recovering from–their own experience with reproductive crisis.This soothing book is a must–not simply for women who have experienced pregnancy loss, but also for their partners and those who care about them. Kim Kluger-Bell, a therapist specializing in the psychodynamics of losing a child before birth–whether to abortion, miscarriage, or other loss–strips away the shrouds of silence surrounding this unique pain. She gives new voice to these “unspeakable losses,” in a culture that has rendered its discussion taboo.

Combining in-depth stories with solid, practical advice, Unspeakable Losses articulates the myriad emotional stages that arise from pregnancy loss and validates what can otherwise be a terribly lonely experience. This book is a vital companion for women and men in comprehending–and recovering from–their own experience with reproductive crisis.